About the founder

I am a queer vegan sex-positive activist, speaker, artist, and avid music lover.

After living in and getting out of an abusive relationship, I began actively working against personal and sexual violence in 2005.

As a member and advocate of both the GLBTIQ community and those who work in the sex industry, I soon noticed things that concerned me in discussions about violence.

Various segments of the population are all too often overlooked, disregarded, or excluded.  As I’ve been outspoken about this problem, people began coming to me with their stories that they were afraid no one else would believe or take seriously.  One “Take Back the Night” rally was especially hard to bear as friends got the courage to speak out about being sexually assaulted – but first apologized for being at the podium and not being women.

Some other groups are too often looked at as automatic victims or as complicit in the problems of abuse – such as those working in the sex industry or who practice BDSM.  When an entire room of my peers at an anti-violence conference applauded pornography as exemplifying violence against women, I had to wonder where I fit in, and if they would care about my story or view me as part of the problem.

Just over two years ago, I was raped by an ex-girlfriend.  Between the ensuing harassment, many shared connections, my own depression, and fears of speaking out, I have become increasingly isolated from the people and places that mattered to me most – including the GLBTIQ community, the anti-violence movement, and the local punk and hardcore community that used to feel like home.

Worse than the pain from my own story is the knowledge that so many others are hurting too, and often trying to face it alone.  One is too many.

Now I am trying to reconnect, rebuild relationships, and find a place where I feel like I belong again.  I’m sharing my story here for the first time publicly, with respect for everyone else who has been willing to share theirs and the hope that others can find their voice as well.  I regret that this is the way some people I care about, and who I’m sure would’ve helped me if they had known, will find out.

I will be forever thankful to the few people I told who have given their support, listened while I talked and cried, distracted my mind with ridiculous movies or awesome food, and – as much as I know it logically – make sure to remind me, “It’s not your fault.”

- Dawn Graham, February 2009

Please visit the About page for general information about the project.