submitted by Julie Levine

I hadn’t been a part of the art world for over 20 years. It was as though my art education was erased. And with it, a piece of me. Once a victim of domestic violence, freedom of expression was forbidden. I was once married to a man that stole a part of my soul. You see, abusive relationships are not only about physical violence, verbal tirades, or the emotional torment. No. It encompasses so much more than that. It chisels away at your self being; destroying an identity until all that is left is “victim.” I was that victim for 2 decades.

Living in an abusive marriage, the pursuit of my art was totally off limits. After graduating from the Hartford Art School with a BFA in art education, I had married someone who relegated my art supplies to the garbage bins. I never touched a paintbrush, a canvas, nor a piece of clay during my marriage. Not for 22 years. The person I had married told me how ridiculous and awful my art was…over and over again, until I believed it. I had grown to believe everything my ex husband had told me.

It wasn’t until I was in the midst of my divorce, that someone influenced me to return to myself – to rediscover the person I lost all those years ago.I had forgotten whole parts of me. As a victim of domestic violence, this is unfortunately quite common.

My exploration began with a piece of clay in a clay studio. I became more comfortable expressing myself. A process that came one day at a time. On a most personal journey, I put my soul into the clay–reflecting on all that was me. And then I entered a juried art show…and WON!

I entered a piece, appropriately titled, “Faces of Freedom.” The faces on 11 clay cups held expressions of awe, joy and sorrow…some even with a touch of confusion expressed. It was my way of telling the world that I had learned some very valuable lessons. The human spirit is not crushed when it is defeated – it is crushed only if it surrenders and gives up all desire to survive. I chose to make 11 cups for a good reason. The number 11 in kabbalah is significant. It alludes to a very prized possession – Daat, G-dly knowledge. Freedom is our right. This is something I now know for certain.